I missed you, and I missed being here, but it was good to step back. I have spent a lot of time trying to think about where I want to go creatively and what that might look like on the blog. I'll talk more about that soon.
Today, I want to reflect on 2015. I'm not really big on New Years' resolutions, because I do believe that being happy with yourself today is more important. That being said, I'm all about setting goals and looking forward to the future. I'm a huge planner, list maker, and overall impatient person when it comes to the future, so without goals and aspirations I would be lost.
As we say goodbye to 2015, I feel like I have whiplash. There were so many ups and downs that I don't really think I have a good perspective on the year, yet. We tragically lost a good friend the week before Christmas, and I am just now beginning to see past the fog. When sad things happen, I think it's important to try and find the sunlight in the darkness. Because of that, I have compiled a list of positive things that have happened this year. I don't want to forever think of 2015 as only the year we lost a pregnancy or the year we lost a dear friend. Years are long, and lots of things happen.
Looking Back at 2015
I married my best friend. This was a big one. In May, Josh and I tied the knot, but the entire spring was spent planning, getting excited, celebrating with friends, and anticipating the day we would stand up in front of our friends and say those words.
I went to Hawaii. I really think these islands are my favorite place on Earth. It was so beautiful, and it was great to just relax, not set expectations, get tons of sleep, and just be for a week. I have got to do this more.
I started to tune into Architecture. I have been working towards becoming an architect since 2003, that's almost 13 years, and along the way I have been in and out of infatuation with my craft. Obviously, I have passions outside of design, but this past year I have really started to plug into my profession. I have tons of creative control at work, I feel like I'm good at it, and it's fun. I think that in some part is why I have pulled back from the blog. I love writing and taking pictures, so I don't want to stop, but things like recipe development and self promotion are not my passion. Blogging ain't my day job, and I don't think it ever will be.
I learned I could get pregnant. Like... immediately. We got pregnant on our first try, and although I know that doesn't mean we will again, it gives me hope. That experience also taught me another thing, that I could be patient. This is not my strong suit, and having things out of my control is really tough. I will continue that in 2016 as we keep pushing our journey to be parents.
I learned to listen to myself and use my words. I am a people pleaser at heart, and it's sometimes hard for me to stand up for myself. This year, I really tried to listen to myself and not worry about how I might be perceived. This is something I will continue to work on, but I need to trust that the way I feel in situations matters, too.
I learned I could live without alcohol. Before we got pregnant in August, I stopped drinking. I didn't pick it back up again throughout our miscarriage struggles, partly because I didn't want to use it as a crutch. The last few weeks of December, though, I indulged a bit. I have no regrets about this, but seeing the way I felt after really solidified to me that it's something I truly don't need right now. So, I guess the only true "resolution" I have this year is a sober '16. I don't plan on drinking at all this year. I do think I'll share some thoughts on it as the year goes on. I don't think that drinking is bad, I just think after having it be such a huge part of my life for so many years, it's time to see what it's like without it.
I celebrated 10 years with the love of my life. Josh and I started dating at the end of 2005, so this past year we got to take a break from life and cherish our 10 years together. We planned a whole weekend including a concert, the opening of Star Wars, and a quick trip up to Mount Magazine. It was wonderful, and after the ups and downs of the year it was really good to reconnect and celebrate how much fun we have been having for the past decade.
I was reminded that life is precious. Shortly after returning from our anniversary getaway, we found out that a good friend of ours, someone that has been in our lives for many years, suddenly passed away. It was shocking and sad, and I'm sure it will be a long time until we can think about him without our hearts hurting. The thing it taught me the most is that life is precious, and you never know how important your loved ones are until they're gone. I plan on telling my friends and family that I love them more, and I want to make seeing them more of a priority.
So, that's my look back on 2015. It was quite a year, for all its good and bad. I always look forward to the coming year, and this year is no exception. Personally, I want to keep being me. Professionally, I want to give more time to work and creative en-devours. I have some ideas for the blog that I'll share in my next post, but for now I'll just say Happy New Year.
Do you look back on your year? Do you set resolutions or goals? I would love to hear them. Please leave me a comment! I'm happy to be back.