Monday, October 19, 2015

Monday Musings: Stimulants and Sedatives


If you've been reading my blog for very long, or know me in person, you know that my relationship with alcohol is sometimes on and off.  During the Arbonne detox last spring, I gave it up and felt amazing, but it made its way back into my life.  When we decided to start trying to conceive, I stopped drinking completely.  I also went off caffeine, because I thought it would be hard to do so once full of pregnancy hormones.

Through the couple months that I was pregnant, I didn't partake in any alcohol or caffeine.  When we found out we were losing the pregnancy, I still didn't reach for them.  I knew I would grieve, and I knew it would be intense, and I didn't want to rely on anything to dull my senses and my pain.  I knew I would need to feel it.

As I'm coming out of the grief and returning to normal life, I find myself adverse to the idea of these stimulants and sedatives.  Not to say that either one of these should be shunned or make you a bad person if you partake, but I can't seem to imagine incorporating them back into my life.. alcohol in particular.

Drinking has been a part of my life for over a decade, and it was once the core of all social interaction.  Since I've been experiencing life, parties, weekends, and work events sober, I feel I'm more engaged and in control.  I don't find myself jealous that I can't drink or sad about it.  I simply enjoy myself, laugh, act goofy, and do the things I normally do.  The difference is the way I feel by the end of the night and in the morning.  I feel good.

Another interesting interaction I'm experiencing is my relationship with food.  When drinking daily or almost so, I would find myself unable to hear my natural hunger cues, and all food tasted pretty good.  Now, I'm finding that I have no real interest in food when I'm not hungry, and if things aren't truly tasty, I just don't eat them.  This is really weird for me, because this is not normal.

We plan on trying to conceive again in a few months, and I don't want to go through the process of stopping alcohol and caffeine all over again.  I know I had nothing to do with my miscarriage, but I truly want to put my body in the healthiest possible state when we try to grow a human again.  So, I think I'll be reaching for water instead of wine, and rooboos instead of Earl Gray.  For now, it's really working, and I'm interested to see where this new lifestyle will take me.

19 comments:

  1. Great post. I used to use alcohol too much to deal with feelings I couldn't handle, and it negatively affected my life. Now that I don't drink anymore, I'm dealing with some hurt now and I've learned it's okay to sit with your feelings! They won't kill you. Like you, I'm also interested where this clear headed lifestyle goes!

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    1. That's awesome! I'm pretty amazed at how different my outlook on life is in just the few months that I've been sober. I definitely feel more present.

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  2. Oh man, booze is such an important part of life! It's one of the many reasons I don't want human kids! :-) But good for you! You gotta do what feels right for you, and if sober feels better, that's awesome. I can say, when I do my January cleansing, and I limit myself to either just one or two glasses of red wine (or in some cleanses, no alcohol), I do appreciate not waking up with a hangover.

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    1. I totally understand the important role it can play, but as I move into wanting to be a mom, I definitely don't want it to be as big a part of my life. I do like waking up without hangovers :) I get them BAD.

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  3. Sorry to hear about your loss, that's really hard.

    Caffeine I know I could never give up. Alcohol. That's a tough one. I rarely drink to excess but I do have a glass or two of wine most nights a week, which honestly feels too much. It defo effects my energy levels and my mood. I'd love to give it up because I know i'd feel so much better. But there's something that holds me back. Wine probably is a crutch of some sort.

    I'd admire your steadfastness in giving both up.

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    1. I didn't really drink during the week, but I drank a lot on the weekends. It's nice to have some of that time back. I don't really miss caffeine at all, but I do miss green tea. I can't have that right now anyway, since it's not good for folic acid absorption.

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  4. I feel ya. I'm drinking less and less these days. I just don't have time to feel icky or have a hangover. I need every spare minute of my days to plan, prep, read and remember things I studied long ago....and drinking, although I still do it, has become a much smaller part of life. Now, for as much alcohol as I've eschewed, I've probably added in as much caffeine, haha, but baby steps, right?

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    1. Baby steps! I know when things get stressful at work that I need caffeine as well. I'm lucky to be getting a lot of sleep lately, so I'm not sure what my tune would be on little sleep.

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  5. This is a timely post for me. Both my husband and I have histories of drinking waaay too much, especially binge drinking on the week ends. We were drunk when we met! and it was something we had in common. Just recently we've decided together to change our relationship with alcohol. Instead of drinking just because it's the week end, or because we've had a crappy day at work we've decided to save it for when we are socialising and keep it to one or two drinks. So far it's been amazing. A little tough at first but easy once you get used to it. And we're SO much more productive.

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    1. Josh and I were very very similar. It's amazing what you can fill your time with when it's not spent drinking. For now, this is definitely working!

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  6. Thanks for posting! Continued thoughts/prayers/vibes coming your way! Best of luck on cutting back on drinking and/or eliminating!

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  7. Just sharing my perspecitve as someone who has not been drinking basically ever. I never really liked alcohol so I just never picked up social drinking. And to be honest, you can have a good time just as much! Perhaps, depending on who you have around, reached a certain stage you may find drunk people marginally annoying. But the fun and the banter can happen sober just as much. I also wanted to mention I have been recently really ill and unable to eat for a few weeks. That changed my relationship with food in a dramtic manner... I just don't think food will ever mean the same to me. It happens and it can harness postive change, I think. We are all too used to food to do something it should not: comfort us, put us to sleep, fill up our moments of boredom. It should be nourishment for the body and that's that.

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