What Are You Afraid Of?

I had a recent reader ask me in a comment, What are you afraid of?  I was going on and on about whether or not I should give up alcohol, and this comment really struck me as getting to the heart of my problem.  What was I afraid of?  If I gave up drinking, even for a little bit, what did I think I was going to lose?  Did I think it would make me unhappy?  Did I think Josh would like me less?  Did I think my friends wouldn't understand?

Now that I've been without it for about 6 weeks, I'm not afraid anymore.  I know that I'm happier.  I know that Josh wants me to do what makes me happy, and he won't judge or pressure me, and I know my friends are loving and understanding.  So far, it's been the best decision for me.  I never realized how much time in my life was taken up with drinking until I stopped.  I never realized that I was using it to numb my pain and anxiety about where my relationship was going, my negative feelings about my body, and my anxiety about life.

I don't think drinking is inherently bad, and I'm sure in the future I will learn to have a drink (one!) every once and awhile, but I was definitely using it in a negative way.

Thankful does not begin to describe my feelings towards the healthy path I'm on now.  It has changed everything.  I feel almost silly that I didn't know it would be so easy to take care of myself, and that it would feel so good.

As the weekend approaches, I am excited to see and spend time with my girlfriends.  They live out of town, and I miss them terribly.  I'm excited to show them how much better I am treating myself, because they love me and have been wanting that for me for a long time.

Today's smoothies were AMAZING!  I am loving the carrot cake smoothie idea, so I gave it another try today.

Breakfast:  vanilla protein powder, raspberries, chia seeds, spinach

Lunch  vanilla protein powder, almond butter, rolled oats, carrots, cinnamon, coconut milk.  (YUM!)

Are you guys bored of looking at smoothies yet??  I'm really not bored with drinking them.

Tonight, I popped into the intermediate/advanced class at Barefoot.  It was great!  It's a really playful class that helps you push your practice forward.  We worked on a lot of arm balancing, and I'm going to be soooo sore!  When I got home, I warmed up some eggplant curry and made a huge salad!

Great dinner to a great day.  Can't wait for this weekend!

As has been my habit all week, I leave you with Bodhi pictures.  She's showing her versatility!