I fluctuate between a moderate to heavy drinker most of the time. It's part of my cultural upbringing, as one of the main activities I do with my family and friends is drink. I don't think this is a bad thing, I just don't know how it's helping me progress in my life. I do, however, see where it hurts me. Alcohol is a huge factor in me making bad food choices. Alcohol is a huge factor in wasted days due to hang overs. Alcohol is a huge factor in workouts missed. I'm very conflicted about this whole issue, and I guess that's why I'm writing, to try to work out some position on it.
As I continue to eat clean, I feel like my entire body is alive and awake. It's hard for me to think about putting anything in it that will cause me to feel bad or mistreat myself. Having a drink is as unappealing currently as eating a highly processed cookie. Honestly, I think I'm scared to have a drink. I think I am afraid that if I reintroduce alcohol back into my diet, then my unhealthy eating patterns will re-emerge, and 6 months from now I will still be unhappy, overweight and stuck.
I know this isn't the most rational fear, but I have years of stagnant progress to back it up. I don't want to look back on my life and see that I spent most of it being unhappy with myself. I want to be the most optimal person I can be, and I'm just not sure where alcohol fits into that equation.
I'm not saying I'm quitting drinking. I'm saying... I'm conflicted.
It would be helpful to hear if any of you find a balance between letting go and living healthy. I know this is a control issue for me. I fear I will lose control of the healthy lifestyle that I currently have. Control has always been an issue for me, as it manifested itself in such a nasty eating disorder in my earlier years. As the end of my "detox" approaches, I'm at a bit of a crossroads, and I'm not sure what the best direction is.
All that said, let's focus on today. Today was good. I woke up feeling happy and lean, opening my eyes before my alarm. It's always a good day if I can beat my alarm clock. Waking up naturally just feel better.
Today, I added spinach to my morning chocolate/blueberry/chia smoothie, and it was great! I picked up some unsweetened coconut milk to go in it, which balanced everything out. The first picture is from last night, when I made up my smoothies to take to work. The nutribullet really is so simple.
I have taken more "selfies" on this detox than ever before. I guess I just feel confident and happy in the mornings, and there's nothing wrong with that. Also, my skin has been great since I stopped drinking so much booze.
I had some Arbonne tea as a mid-morning drink. It's pretty cold here still, so it was nice to have something warm to hold in my hand. I brewed this extra strong, and it was great. Lunch was a smoothie like yesterday, light green and lovely.
Man, I forgot to put this digestion plus in my smoothie today, so I drank it in some water. Oh geez, that was a horrible idea. These do not taste good. Bleck.
Josh and I ran 3 miles after work, and I continued to mull the alcohol question over in my head. Running really does allow my brain to wander, much like a really good yoga class. It helps me work out things that I'm struggling with. I thought, maybe I should extend the no-drink for another couple months. We'll see. As I said, my opinion is ever changing. All I know is that I should keep eating healthy, and tonight's dinner did that!
Curry Zucchini Salad
1 zucchini, sliced thin
1 tsp olive oil
1 tsp dried dill
1 tsp curry powder
For the salad (any will do!)
raw pumpkin seeds
dress with lemon juice
a big dollop of hummus
1/2 cup cooked quinoa
- Heat olive oil in a pan on medium/high heat.
- Add in the zucchini and let saute for 5 minutes.
- Add spices.
- Cook another 5 minutes. Determine your preferred level of softness in the zucchini. I like mine still pretty crunchy.
- Assemble! Big scoop of salad, big dollop of hummus, quinoa, then zucchini over the quinoa.
- I ended up mixing it all up as I ate it. Yum!
We're grilling with E+P tomorrow, so look forward to some fun pictures and food from that. Until then, here's more of my salad. It really was super yummy. I can't believe how heavy handed with salt I used to be. I haven't used it in cooking OR missed it!
I'd love to hear your thought on alcohol. Fine in moderation or major hindrance for weight loss?