Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Being overweight does not mean there's something wrong with me

Why my thighs will always touch, and other musings...


I am a round woman.  Often, I can go weeks without this really bothering me.  If eating a healthy diet and working out regularly, I often feel like a curvy goddess, sent to this planet to draw dick doodles and make my friends laugh.  Sometimes, however, my weight smacks me in the face and makes me feel terrible.  This is not uncommon to most women.  I have seen very thin friends sit and lament about how much weight they need to lose, how they're "off the wagon," and how they won't touch bread for the next two months.  I do this too.  We all do.  Today, I sat and wondered how this weird swing in my brain causes me to hate every molecule in my body when the day before I was running around the house, giggling in my underwear.

It's very strange.  I'm going to blame my latest bit of self loathing on the fact that it's my birthday, and I've been eating and drinking anything I want for about a week straight.  Prolonged spells of drinking leave me dehydrated and puffy and feeling generally bad about myself.  I have been saying for the past few days that "after Labor Day, I'm going to hit it hard!"  While I do think I need to pay attention to how much I'm putting in my body vs how often I'm working out, this cycle of crazy free for all then intense restriction is not how I want to continue living my life.  Today, I turn 28, and I am going to grow up.

Sure, there will always be times when I indulge more than I should, and there will be times that I'm a work out beast and need to take a few days off, but as I approach 30, I want to do it more in a calm, collected way and less in a crazy pendulum way.  I have been swinging between out of control and super controlled for the past 10 years.  Maybe as I begin to mature into myself, I will develop a consistent way of living that will leave me happy on a daily basis.

So, my mantra for the next year is consistency.  I want to be consistent in health, my work, and my passions.  I want to eat normally, work out regularly and create things happily.

To see my many birthday posts for far, check out yesterday and earlier today.

24 comments:

  1. Happy actual birthday!! Man, I hear ya loud and clear. I just turned 33 and I'm STILL hoping for that sense of consistency and routine to take over! Haha! I know that's all on me, and I still struggle with those things, but maybe some day I'll figure it out and stick with something.

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    Replies
    1. i'm pretty good at making definitive statements about what i'm GOING to do, we'll see what happens

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  2. Good luck with it!! I'm sure you'll make 28 the year of consistency!!!! I'm usually pretty crazy about being consistent but birthdays and vacations and Christmas always throw me way off. And right now, I've got a stress fracture in my foot, which has left me unable to run. So the past week, I've just been like, to hell with exercise and eating right. :-( I need to adopt a new attitude while my foot heals...

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  3. I can absolutely relate! Right now I'm in the crazy controlled mode. Sigh. It's a rollercoaster, seemingly unable to stop itself. Happy Birthday!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I can absolutely relate! Right now I'm in the crazy controlled mode. Sigh. It's a rollercoaster, seemingly unable to stop itself. Happy Birthday!

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  7. للحصول علي خدمات افضل شركة عزل اسطح في القصيم تواصل مع شركة البيت السعيد حيث انها تعد افضل شركة عزل خزانات في القصيم و الاسطح و لدي شركة البيت السعيد فريق متخصص في كشف التسربات فهي افضل شركة كشف تسربات المياه في القصيم و لن تقتصر الشركة علي تقديم تلك الخدمات فقط فهي تقدم خدمات القضاء علي الحشرات وهي ايضا افضل شركة مكافحة الحشرات في القصيم و تجد بالشركة الكثير من الخدمت الاخري التي تحتاج اليها باقل الاسعار

    ReplyDelete
  8. باقل التكاليف الان يمكنك الحصول علي خدمات شركة حراسات امنية كبري بمصر التي توفر امن و حراسة لممتلكاتك من الشركات و المنازل و غيرها فهي افضل شركة امنية ولديها اقوي افراد امن و حراسة

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete

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